Dear Sista Girl:
I am seeking advice about my 20-year marriage.
In the beginning, I thought we were in love and would live a near-perfect life together. He had a good job, treated me nice, and sexually fulfilled my needs. All of that is gone. He sleeps in one bedroom and me in another. We argue constantly, threatening each other verbally. He won’t leave and neither will I. What can I do to make my life better?
Dear Year 20,
This is a tough one and can go in multiple directions.
Beloved, you have to do some serious soul-searching on this one.
Have you both had a sit-down heart to heart talk? Do you feel this is a marriage worth saving?
Have you ever tried specific activities to spice up your relationship a bit? Have the two of you ever tried couples therapy? If there’s any respect or shreds of a relationship go for it hand in hand and repair the broken fragments of your marriage. The reality is, if he has no interest and if you aren’t interested—it’s fruitless.
However, if you are able to financially support a new life for yourself and that’s what you can envision, then I suggest you do just that. Begin to do the work on yourself to make that happen.
Get yourself a counselor or therapist and plan out what kind of life you see for yourself.
So, really the decision is yours and what you want. No one should ever remain in a verbally abusive relationship.
I pray you make the best decision. Keep me posted on what you’ve decided to do.
~ Sista Girl
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