Dear Sista Girl:
Maybe you can give me advice.
I still live at home and decided to go back to school this semester. I’m taking a full load of classes, and my home life has been put on the back burner. That includes washing dishes, doing laundry, etc. Needless to say, this has pissed my parents off. The lack of tidying up around the house has my dad on a rampage.
I work full time, go to school full time, and I’m also a full-time single mother. I really don’t think my parents understand how heavy this is on me. I want to move out but it’s just not ideal and I can’t afford it. I feel like my parents think I’m constantly putting my household responsibilities on the back burner, when in reality I just need a break!
While children are truly a blessing, having children at a young age makes life much harder.
Unfortunately, this is a cross you have to bear when you live under your parents’ roof—and you made the decision to have a child at such a young age.
It’s obvious your parents love you and want to support you, which is why they are allowing you to live at home. However, there may be some frustration on their part that you are getting the support of free rent and boarding and still not making the effort or time to at least toss in a chore here or there.
Some families make it work, but for most of us it’s just not the natural order of expectations. So the micro-aggressions you are receiving about the housekeeping will only get worse if you do not change your behavior. In many cases adult children are not meant to live with their parents, especially when they become parents themselves. This often creates a very tense situation, and I’m sure you’re going to hear about it until you make changes.
Many single mothers struggle to have their own place to avoid the dynamic you are facing. Do you have any friends who are also single moms that you can share a space with?
If you are not able to move out I strongly suggest you find a way to make a little extra money to pay someone to clean for you. Maybe you can barter with someone who has a cleaning service.
I know this is probably not what you want to hear, but it needed to be said.
Be blessed, beloved.
~ Sista Girl
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