Ask Sista Girl – October 2015

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Sista Girl,

I have been dating this guy for eight months.

We were really connecting well and looked forward to seeing each other. Over the last three months, he hardly calls. Should I be concerned that he is seeing someone else? I am afraid to ask him because if he says yes, I will be devastated.

~ Signed, Suspicious


It is possible he is seeing someone else, but do you trust him? If he says he is not seeing someone else, would you believe him? Your letter implies that you may not trust him. Trust in a relationship is key. If there was no disagreement that triggered this distance, perhaps he needs time to reflect.

Perhaps there are other issues competing with his time such as family, medical or work etc. Distance allowed time for both of you to reflect over the last eight months.

On that note, Suspicious, trust your instincts but do not create situations that may not exist. Also, do not place expectations on someone without that person knowing what those are. This is how we set ourselves up for disappointment.

Ask him if he is seeing someone else and be prepared for the answer. Do not get angry and storm off or make threatening statements, just say thank-you and it would have been good if he would have felt comfortable enough to share his thoughts with you. “Never make someone a priority when they only think of you as an option.”

My dear sista, remember what Maya Angelou says: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”

~ Peace, Sista Girl



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Note: The opinions stated here are not intended to replace any services from professional providers, authorities, and/or legal counsel.


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