Is The Business of Money Stressing You Out?

Reeta Wolfsohn

This is “Part I” of a multi-part article exploring how to grow more comfortable talking about, and attending to your money.

by Reeta Wolfsohn,CMSW

Speaking more than one language is a definite advantage when traveling or when job seeking in today’s multicultural world. Some people excel in speaking the language of love; many, even if they don’t, are forever trying to master it. But how many men and women speak the language of money? For far too many it is indeed a foreign language.

The language of money isn’t as much about vocabulary, definitions or inflection as it is about concept and context. It isn’t as much about learning to speak it as it is about being ready and willing to engage in it. We’ll talk about sex before talking about money, perhaps because so many find the one so much more pleasurable than the other (or not!)



Mastering
the language of money isn’t the real challenge; it’s the problems and
issues associated with money, which make it such an objectionable
topic. Capitalism, the foundation of the American economy, measures
success by the amount of profit a company generates and the amount of
income a person earns, no matter how inequitable that yardstick is for
assessing true creativity and achievement.


A society that
equates earning less with being less makes it simple for those who have
less to feel less worthy, thus making it more difficult for them to ask
for the sale, to negotiate the best deals or to take the risks that
maximize profits, incomes and financial security.


For the men and
women who have debt or have no/low assets, one favorite coping
mechanism is financial passivity, which in turn contributes to divorce,
poverty, abuse, depression, addiction and many other physical and
mental illnesses; it also places these men and women at risk for lives
filled with debt and financial problems rather than lives filled with
assets and financial security.


The way people
with debt or no/low assets deal (or fail to deal) with their money is
directly proportionate to the degree of importance they place on it in
their lives. That degree of importance is significantly influenced by
sense of self and self-esteem. When these aren’t strong, the resulting
financial behavior is often responsible for a cycle of poverty, or debt
or no/low assets that is accompanied by overwhelming isolation and
debilitating depression and stress.


Sadly, over
recent decades, this great nation has managed to exclude debtors from
access to many of the opportunities that belong to every American. This
has happened because those with debt, or those with no/low assets,
often confuse their self-worth with their net worth and choose to avoid
the financial component of their lives in order to avoid the dissonance
created by money problems.


Some avoid their
money because they feel undeserving or guilty about wanting things for
themselves. Some feel unable to overcome the fear of poverty, while
others feel they are unable to do anything right when it comes to
money. Some feel they don’t have enough money for it to make a
difference; others feel unable to give up the fantasy of having someone
else take care of them. Most avoid their financial situations because
they have been conditioned to do so.


The Center for
Financial Social Work provides information, training, programs and
products to educate, motivate, support and engage men and women with
debt or no/low assets in taking control of their money and gaining
control of their lives.



Reeta Wolfsohn,CMSW is the founder of Financial Social Work. She can be reached at [email protected]