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Dear Sista Girl:

I am having trouble understanding why people have hypocritical double standards.

I have shared very personal financial information with my significant other over the past few months while in the process of making a major purchase. On the contrary, my partner is not in the market to make any major purchases but wants to be continually updated on my situation. Apparently, giving answers to personal or financial questions is a one-way street as I am the only one sharing.

I must have misread what was really transpiring between us. Should I stop sharing and adopt the double standards being practiced every day by my partner, or should I remain open?

My Sista:

People teach us how to treat them and likewise, we must teach them how to treat us. Sorry to say the precedent has been set. He/she is inquisitive but not forthcoming and probably never will be.

My advice to you is not to share any more personal or financial information until you have confirmed that your significant other will be in your future and a definite partner in the relationship, not just a nosy neighbor. Give vague, ambiguous answers when asked invasive questions. Change the subject or reverse the question.

Some people expect information to be transparent and available when requested but claim privacy when asked uncomfortable questions. Continue to ask when the opportunity presents to gauge your relationship growth. If there is nothing there, keep the relationship strictly platonic.

Communication and openness are absolutes in a strong union. However, sometimes we must give what we get … nothing.

Best wishes.

~ Sista Girl

 

 


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