A Comfortable Soul

Rev. Davita R. Bishop, Traveling Elder in the Christian Methodist Episcopal Church

By Rev. Davita R. Bishop

I have (as a woman) thought, “What it is that helps us to keep our relationships with others in order?”

As women, we read many books and articles on how to strengthen our walk with our parents, siblings, friends, co-workers, and gentlemen we are interested in. However, in the midst of my maintaining relationships with everyone else, I realized it was my relationship with “self” that was faltering! I felt I had all the answers to help others fix their relationships, while neglecting myself.

I want all women, young and matured, to realize that we must establish a solid relationship with ourselves first! As women, we are bombarded on a daily basis with images telling us that we need various products to help improve our outer beings and appearance. Later we realize that we are out of touch with our inner being and need to revamp ourselves. As our outer being is meeting the world’s standards, what is happening to our inner being, our self-worth and self-esteem?

Learning to be comfortable with YOU is a hard task, but it can be
achieved! We need to embrace ourselves as we presently are, and not be
defined by the false images of outer forces. We are beautiful at any
age, and our outer beauty will radiate when our inner self is
comfortable and at peace. We are not what our past or those in our past
say we have to be. We are to be who our faith, dreams, and tomorrows say
we can and will be! You must grasp and hold on to that belief and move
toward self-acceptance. I often stumble and fall, but I continue to get
up and keep moving forward. I may be moving slowly, but I am moving!
We need to take time for fellowship with God, and with positive people
in our lives.

•    Spend time with those who affirm your strengths, but who
will also love you enough to hold you accountable when you are wrong. I
am so blessed I have a strong Godly inner circle of sister pals who are
that to me.

•    Spend time with God in prayer and meditation. Keeping your
ear open to hear God helps you to be more comfortable within yourself.

•    If there is a toxic person in your life, spend some time
with them, too. Limit your visits, but spend some time with them. Why?
Because God’s light shining in you can and will shine a ray of hope into
their dark world. This will help them to become more comfortable within
themselves.

You will still have moments that you will see the things you
perceive as being flaws. You have to let go and think of them as unique
qualities that enhance your character. When you able to be more
comfortable within yourself, your relationship with God and others will l
greatly improve.

Rev. Davita R. Bishop is a native of Asheville, NC, and a graduate
of Western Carolina University with a BS in Clothing, Textiles and
Merchandising. She serves in the ministry at Brown Temple C.M.E. Church
where Rev. Gary McDaniel, Sr. is the pastor.  Rev. Bishop is currently
working on a Master of Divinity in Pastoral Care and Counseling at the
M. Christopher White School of Divinity at Gardner-Webb University. To
contact her, e-mail: [email protected]