Ask Sista Girl – March 2020

Dear Sista Girl:

My hard-working high school-aged, straight-A-earning son just came home suspended for his first fight in school.

While I have been there once myself, I am devastated. I prided myself on raising children that would not repeat the same mistakes that I have made. What can I say to him where I don’t sound like a hypocrite?

Dear Mom,

Please don’t be devastated and please don’t overthink and beat yourself up about this because he made the choice.

Clearly you’ve done a great job if you gotten him to high school and that was where his first fight occurred. Sadly, high schools are a microcosm of our society and some kids can just be mean.

There’s a tremendous amount of pressure on students to prove that they are not weak, to their own peers who tend to be in a different socioeconomic status.

The best approach you could take is to get to the root cause as to why he felt it necessary to engage in fisticuffs in the first place.

It’s also important to communicate the message of what you learned from your experience. We all have gone through hard times and made unwise choices; hopefully, your son can see this as a learning experience.

Many parents often worry about their student getting into the college of their choice after their first suspension, and I promise you, as long as he uses this as a learning experience and it never happens again, that should not be a fear of yours.

The key thing is to focus on the triggers that led him to make that kind of decision and make sure he has viable alternative options in the future. Hopefully he is doing some sort of physical activity which will help how he responds moving forward.

Best wishes, beloved.

~ Sista Girl



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