Dear Sista Girl:
I am a procrastinator at my core.
I kick the can as far and for as long as I can. I’ve missed many opportunities in my life, and it is something that is not likely to change before I die. I want to do better today. Maybe I’ll start tomorrow. LOL.
My most immediate problem is I need to divorce my husband. But why do today what I can put off until next year? Except I want a new start with a new house, car, love, and most of all, new name … or old as it may be. Where to start?
Most people procrastinate when it comes to one thing or another. It sounds like emotional stress is an obstacle for you. You hesitate to confront the emotional pain or potential conflict the divorce may cause you and/or your spouse. He may be stifled by the same thing.
I am going to list a few scenarios that may nudge you into action.
First, do you want to be attached to him in name or in residence when you meet someone new? The man of your dreams could be around the corner or in your near future. It will be an awkward conversation explaining that you shouldn’t be married, but still are, to a man that you share the same address and maybe even the same bed. Poof! He is gone.
Second, find a house and try to buy it without your husband’s signature. Even if you are successful, in most states, he’s entitled to half the marital assets. That’s right: you’re still married. You’ll still be sharing it with him, maybe not physically but legally. You will want a divorce decree before the purchase. Same goes for the car.
Third, if he falls ill and has a debilitating illness or surgery, do you want to be responsible for his care and recovery? Do you want the financial responsibility of his remaining medical bills or long-term care? Will you be able to start your new life or will your guilt give you cement shoes?
Be happy—whatever that looks like, with or without him. Decide, even if you procrastinate on everything else.
~ Sista Girl
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Note: The opinions stated here are not intended to replace any services from professional providers, authorities, and/or legal counsel.