Becoming a Foster Parent: ‘Simple Gestures’ Can Offer a Happy Life

By Darlena Moore

There are almost 11,000 children in foster care in NC, including approximately 250 in Buncombe County. The story of one of them appears here:

Angelina’s Story

I entered foster care at the age of fifteen, having been abused both emotionally and physically. Some may have seen me as “damaged goods,” but I knew I had something positive to offer the world.

I was never adopted, and eventually I aged out of the system, but through caring foster parents I was given the tools I needed to live a quality life.

Were my foster parents perfect? No. But they had some key qualities
that gave me exactly what I needed to be a successful human being:

1.    They were open to hearing about my past, but only when or if I was ready to talk.

2.    They let me be myself. They knew that the foundation of my
life was different than theirs and that they couldn’t mould me into
someone who was a reflection of them.

3.    They set simple rules that I could follow. For example, at
age sixteen, I could either work or go to school. I chose school.
Another rule was don’t hurt yourself or others. Of course I knew it was
wrong to hurt others, but no one had ever valued me enough to make not
hurting myself a rule.

4.    They helped me take care of my health. I had only been to
the dentist once. They saved my teeth and made sure I had regular doctor
visits. They taught me about nutrition and exercise.

5.    They helped me unlearn bad habits, gently and without
criticism. I had been living in a world of stereotypes and bad grammar.
Without the criticism I was open to learning and hearing a different
view.

These simple gestures allowed me to lead a healthy, happy life.

Everyone can make a difference by learning more about fostering
or adopting on Saturday, November 13 from 2 to 5 p.m., when the Buncombe
County Department of Social Services, along with many other area foster
care agencies, will host the annual WNC Foster/Adopt Fall Festival at
the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Asheville (off I-240 between Sam’s Club and
the Westgate shopping plaza).

The Foster/Adopt Fall Festival is a free, no-pressure, drop-in
event, where the public can learn about becoming a foster parent and
about older children who are waiting for adoption. Visitors can meet
with different agencies as well as with foster and adoptive parents.
Family activities include arts and crafts for the kids, face painting,
light snacks, and giveaways.
For more information call Erica Jourdan at (828) 775-2404 or email her at [email protected].

Darlena
Moore is a marketing consultant and recruitment specialist for the
Children’s Home Society of NC, working in collaboration with the
Buncombe County Department of Social Services for the Fall Foster/Adopt
Festival. For more information visit moore-projects.com.