Healthy Parenting

Your interactions with your child will affect the way their brain grows.

by Dr. Stacey Patton –

If you yell, threaten, or hit, then you will help your child build a larger brain stem. This is the part of the brain that sends a child into fight, flight, or freeze mode. They will learn to assess and react to the world from this lower part of the brain that privileges emotions over logic and reasoning. And they will likely become adults who don’t feel safe, are always on high alert, struggle with emotional regulation, and are more sensitive to stress.

Nurture your child; listen, empathize, show compassion, co-regulate with them and you will help your child grow a larger prefrontal cortex. They will likely become an adult with a higher I.Q., someone who feels secure in their own skin, can regulate their emotions, can empathize with others, solve problems and think critically.

https://vimeo.com/744796043/f55efd06cb

Dr. Stacey Patton on the True Meaning of Resilience and Child Abuse Prevention.

I often hear parents say, “I’m not reasoning with a child.” And then, they go on to justify why hitting a child to punish and teach them is effective.

The science tells us that this is not true! Contrary to what people say, reasoning with a child is exactly what you should be doing.

Each incidence of physical punishment results in stress, fearfulness, hyper-vigilance, poor regulation, and even developmental delays in speech, language, and cognition. The science affirms that the developing brain cannot learn in the face of corporal punishment.

Being hit terrorizes the brain. It deactivates learning and activates the mid-brain which is the home of survival instincts.

I love this infographic by Dr. Bruce Perry. It is called The Three Rs of how to reach the learning brain. Basically, if you hit your child, they will become disregulated and disconnected from you because YOU are a threat. So a child will not learn from you when they fear you.

So you actually have to reason with a child. But you can’t do that until you make them feel safe and calm. Once your child feels safe with you, then they will become attuned with you and can relate with you. Only after you’ve achieved the first two steps can you reason with a child.

Keep beating a child and no new learning will occur.

Learn more at sparethekids.com.