Home is the Perfect Gift

From left to right: Brothers Malik, age 10, Michael, age 16, and Kysarius, age 11, are cleared for adoption with no home identified at this time. Photos courtesy of the Buncombe County Department of Social Services.

In these weeks preceding the holiday season, 30 hopeful children in Buncombe County have a special wish.

By Darlena Moore

They wish for something magical, yet so simple it can’t be found among
the iPods, Uggs, Barbies, and brand-name clothing on the holiday wish
lists that you may be used to seeing.

They are children in foster care who cannot safely go back home to
their birth families. Their wish is the same as it was last year, and
for many, the year before that, and the year before that: to have a
permanent and loving home.

On Saturday, November 15 from 3 to 6 p.m., the Buncombe County
Department of Social Services, along with many other area foster care
agencies, will host the WNC Annual Foster/Adopt Fall Festival at the
Coleman Place (upstairs in the Asheville Chamber of Commerce).

This is a fun, no-pressure, drop-in event, where you can learn about
becoming a foster parent and about adopting older children from the
foster care system. You can talk directly to foster and adoptive
parents and also to some of the children. Bring the whole family to
enjoy arts and crafts activities for the kids, face painting, light
snacks, and giveaways.

There are approximately 280 children in foster care in Buncombe County.
Of those, around 30 have a plan of adoption but do not have a family
identified. These children are eight and older, many of whom miss, and
long to be a part of, a family again. Some have waited years to find a
permanent home, and they never seem to give up hope.

Almost a third of the children are age five and under, another third
are in elementary and middle school, and a third are teenagers. All of
them enter foster care hoping they can one day safely go back home. For
some, this becomes a reality; others stay in foster care looking for a
family who will be able to provide the safety and love they deserve. No
matter their age or situation, these children come with their own
personalities and interests, hopes and dreams, and challenges just like
your own children.

“They are not statistics,” says Erica Jourdan, Recruitment Specialist
at the Buncombe County Department of Social Services. “These children
have been through many hardships in their young lives, and they have
been affected by that. But ultimately they are still just kids who need
your time, patience, love, and attention. They desperately want, and
need, to be loved.”

Because of their hardships, children in foster care sometimes get a bum
rap about coming with lots of problems. And some of them do have a hard
time adjusting. It’s hard to lose everyone and everything you ever
knew. But often, through these hardships, they also come with wisdom
and a set of tools that other children don’t have. With help, they can
learn to reach their goals and to be ready for whatever comes their
way. Eddie Murphy, Keith Bulluck (NFL linebacker), Dan O’Brien, Eleanor
Roosevelt, and Cher are just a few successful people who spent time as
children in foster care.

The Foster/Adopt Fall Festival is where many foster parents get their
start. John became a foster parent with Buncombe County DSS after last
year’s event. He says that attending and learning about the process
helped him overcome some misconceptions about children in care.

“For us, the Fall Festival was the beginning of a road to fostering and
adopting,” he says. “We found the chance to talk to real foster parents
about their experiences most helpful. It was also the first step toward
being able to adopt. It changed our lives and ultimately brought us our
most blessed gift – a little boy named Eric.”

Brandon, age 17, was adopted last year. “I know it’s hard to love
someone you just met, but if you have compassion and really want them
in your home it gives them so much hope – you just can’t imagine. When
I heard I was being adopted, I knew that I was loved,” he adds. “I knew
that people wanted me, and it gave me hope to go on.”

During the holidays we place much thought into finding that perfect
gift. What about the gift of your time and love? All 280 of these
children in foster care need people like you to help them through this
very rough time in their lives. And 30 of them are looking to fulfill
their wish of a permanent home. We as a community have the capacity to
fulfill their wish. Their requests of these children are simpler and
their dreams run deeper than anything that can be bought with money. To
them, the gift of a loving home is priceless.

Brandon sums it up perfectly. “When you’re in a foster home, it’s a
foster home, but when you’re adopted, you’re home. It’s a place I’ll
come to for holidays and the rest of my life, and I’ll be able to say,
‘Hi, Mom, Happy Thanksgiving.’”

For more information about the WNC Foster/Adopt Fall Festival or about fostering in general, call Erica Jourdan  at (828) 250-5513 or email her at: [email protected].