Ask Sista Girl – September 2016

Sista Girl,

I have a question for you: In the movie My Best Friend’s Wedding” (1997) there was a line spoken to Julianne Potter (Julia Roberts) by her friend, George, after Julienne’s long-time friend, Michael, reveals he’s engaged, she realized she loves Michael herself and sets out to get him, with only days before the wedding. Julianne tells Michael that she loves him on his wedding day. The soon-to-be bride overhears and runs from the wedding location in tears. Michael runs after her, and Julienne runs after Michael. George says to Julienne, “He is running after her, you are running after him, who is running after you?”

Sista Girl, this is how I feel about black women and their chances at love. More black men tend to prefer white women (no matter how they look); who’s running after the black woman?

My Sista,

Your question is one that has been raised before, as we are seeing more biracial relationships indeed. This is a challenging question, so I’m attempting to address the attraction between a man and woman based not on race, but the connection or relationship.

I hear quite often of the black woman’s commitment to only “be” with a black man but am hearing less of those words from black men about black women. I felt it would be interesting to inquire with those involved in an interracial relationship to hear why they chose the person they chose who happens to be of a different hue. Here is what a few black men who are in interracial relationships said: 1) In my professional environment the majority of women I encounter are white; 2) The black women I dated in the past caused drama; 3) I want interracial children; 4) White women want to please me in every way; 5) My girl approached me, and I liked that.

I also asked a few white men why they chose black women. Here is what they said: 1) We have a lot in common. We work together and one thing led to another. 2) She’s beautiful! 3) I like the confidence many black women display, as well as their tenacity. I have experienced them standing by their man—me—and I like that. We have that “we are in this together” attitude.

~ Sista Girl

Brotha Man, What is your thought concerning the question from the sista? Let me quote from Conspiracy Brotha in the movie Undercover Brotha: “Brotha Man, is the white woman ‘the black man’s kryptonite’?”

So who is chasing a sista? Everybody who wants the best!

I don’t pretend to be the authoritative voice for all the brothas, but I think a true real brotha will say that the most sought-after, sexiest woman with the most swag, ride-or-die attitude, who is resourceful, original, intelligent, faithful, spiritual, multicolored, multilingual, regal, creative, loyal, motherly, independent, (did I mention sexy) foreign or domestic beauty on this planet, is the Black Woman; descendent of queens, and daughters of the Almighty God! The Black Woman is the mother of humanity as we know it.

Just in case I didn’t answer the “kryptonite” question: That only works on television. It’s a Sista that puts the “S” on good brotha’s chest.

~ Real Talk, from Brotha Man!

Ask Sista Girl!

Sista Girl will answer your questions about life-issues, and give suggestions on how to solve them. Email your questions to [email protected]

Note: The opinions stated here are not intended to replace any services from professional providers, authorities, and/or legal counsel.