The Blame Game
Chatting with Cathy – March 2013
by Cathy James
How often have you heard people say things like “I didn’t finish school because…”; “I had to quit my job because…”; “My house was foreclosed because…”; “My car was repossessed because…”?
How many different people or reasons can you blame for your shortcomings? I have been guilty of participating in pity parties at some point, but I have learned it’s a waste of time and energy.
ADVICE:
Whatever your circumstance or station in life is, it is up to you and no one else to change it. You are responsible for your own future, so stop wasting time!
My friend made me holler (laugh) the other day! She said she didn’t finish college because her mother wouldn’t keep her child. She says she is going back now at age 42. Don’t get me wrong: you’re never too old to learn. However, I pointed out to her that there were other people who could have kept her son, not for free – but for a fee, so she could attend classes. She probably would have had to work, but nothing worth achieving is ever easy. Accept your consequences and plan your new future with your child.
Young people, stop blaming your parents for your dumb decisions. Make better choices! You are never forced to rob, steal, do or sell drugs. It makes no sense to base your future on your present plight.
I came from a less than affluent background. So what? The school bus came every morning and took me back in the afternoon so I could attend school. I didn’t need all new clothes and shoes to get on the bus. I didn’t have all the things I needed for sports. I accepted that I may not have athletic socks, a ride to and from practice or games, or money for food after the game, but I wasn’t going to ruin the rest of my life by either going to prison or the morgue to get money for those things. My parents provided enough food, shelter, and clothing for me. It was up to me to do the rest.
CHOOSE WISELY. You are accountable for your own actions, not your parents. The judge will be talking to you!
A lot of people blame their past, their childhood. Trust me, there will be innumerable things that can hold you back in life, but you can’t spend your time looking back. Ask yourself, does looking back make you happy? Will your bills get paid today while you live in the past? I don’t know about yours, but mine won’t!
Some terrible things happened to me as a child and young adult, but I won’t let those things ruin my plans for the future. Those things are merely events along the way. I keep it moving. You can’t let the past make your choices today!
Now some blame it on the ALCOHOL. Stop the madness! Take responsibility for your poor social choices. First, you choose to drink, with whom to drink, and how much. One bad decision leads to another. I am not a saint by any stretch of the imagination, but I have never understood how alcohol makes life so much more fun. If you don’t have the nerve or desire to do something while you’re sober, do you really want to do it intoxicated? Probably not.
Finally, do not spend your life blaming others for your shortcomings or laziness. You’re the only person holding you down. When others are striving to achieve their best, they don’t know your name or even know you exist. They are just passing you by. Stop watching them, participate in life. Set your own goals and strive to achieve them. Have something to tell your children and grandchildren, other than I shoulda, coulda, woulda but… I didn’t!
