Peace or Piece of My Mind

Chatting with Cathy – September 2013

by Cathy James

I am at peace for the first time in my life.

My children are grown and gone away to college. Those years with my girls were wonderful, taught me a lot, and exhausted me. I worked really hard to provide for them over the years, but I am now an empty-nester. I still work during the day, but the evenings and weekends are mine. I read, write, sleep, and eat whenever I want. My time is mine.

Under no uncertain terms will I let another person disturb my peace of mind, but if they do, they’ll get a piece of my mind.

Advice

The choices we make can ruin our chances of having peace. If there is constant drama in your life…stop, assess, and change direction. That old adage of “If it’s not one thing, it’s another” doesn’t have to be. Cut the crap, whether it is people or things.

Relationships are certainly the number one cause of stress. How we relate to the world is very important. Your choice in a partner, roommate, or friends can result in mental mess, and other people’s mess is often projected onto us unexpectedly. However, if you are smart, you will shake it off or deflect it.

Don’t engage in unproductive conversations or behaviors in the name of love or friendship. Limit your couch time, and keep your sanity. If your partner treats you badly or cheats, don’t argue, fuss, or fight…cut your losses. Keep your conversations with your friends positive. Attempt to elevate and help them to improve their lives. Don’t get sucked into negativity.

Our offspring can be our greatest joy as well as our worst nightmare. I personally don’t have a child named Drama or Chaos, but you can’t get rid of the eighteen-and-unders. On the other hand, if your grown children live with you, you can put them out.

Every able bodied adult needs their own space but that doesn’t mean in your house. There is no particular age, but it will become crystal clear when it is time for your child(ren) to leave. Sometimes, it is the company and/or hours they keep, the way they address you, or that their money is for recreational purposes only.

Money can’t solve your problems, but if you don’t have money you will surely have problems. Avoiding money issues will cause even more stress. If bill collectors are calling you, make arrangements to pay. In order to pay bills, you have to keep a job. If you don’t like your job, update your résumé. Don’t die complaining.

Life is what you make of it, and I have made peace in mine!

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