Who Is a Virtuous Woman?

Sharon Kelly West

By Sharon West

I must admit, as a wife, mother, female, sister, aunt, employee, employer, friend, nurse, and so on and so forth, I had a moment of wondering how the woman in the Bible whom most of us know best as “The Virtuous Woman” (Proverbs 31) earned such a title. First I felt the need to see how Webster—the “Voice of Authority” on etymology (study of words)—defined “virtuous.”

Webster’s defines “virtuous” as “morally excellent: righteous.” What does “morally excellent” mean? “Moral” is defined as a standard of what is right and what is good. Okay—having been intrigued by, and studied, ethics for more than 10 years, I ask, “Who defines what is ‘right’ and ‘good’?”

From my perspective, this is a situational problem, and for that reason “good and right” is defined by the word of God. God provided us the Ten Commandments, which gives us insight on what is right by sharing with us what is wrong. There is a list of Thou Shalts and Thou Shall Nots that most all of us are very familiar with. In ethical terms, these are known as “absolutes.”     
Moving back to the “Virtuous Woman,” we see several passages I would like to briefly highlight. What I don’t want women to feel is that we will never meet the definition of “virtuous” because of a belief that this was a term of yesterday not today. This is untrue. This word is for today. If God said it, we can become it as we allow Him to work in us that He may work through us to be who He has created us to be.

The woman described in Proverbs 31 was a:

Woman of Faith. She sought out God’s direction for her life. I seek God daily for direction not only for me but for my husband and our children. If you seek out spiritual guidance daily, and sometimes multiple times within the day, you are virtuous.

Mother. “Her children rise and call her blessed (verse 28). “Blessed” references prosperity and the favor of God. We are blessed to be a blessing to others. Do your children honor you? What if you are not a biological mother? The Bible shares that older women should teach the younger ones. There is no prerequisite to be a biological mother to do this. It is the nurturing nature that we as women have been given to teach and to grow women of God.

First, we must demonstrate this love and desire to nurture young women. Many times the younger women that we encounter may not know how God created them as royalty and to be loved and respected. My grandmother would share with me: “If you don’t respect yourself, don’t expect anyone to respect you.”

Servant – “Servant” does not mean subservient. It does not mean lesser than as a person. It means servant leadership as displayed by acts of kindness and a heart of compassion for others to include her husband, children, friends, neighbors, coworkers, those who have authority over us in work.

Homemaker – This does not mean she did not work. In the days of old, she was not formerly employed as most women are today but she was respected in her role as a homemaker. She used wisdom in making purchases, she made household items by hand and had her servants to prepare things to accentuate the home.

Each time we as “today’s woman” decorate our home, we should think of a welcoming place. A place where God can dwell. It matters not whether our home is 900 sq. ft. or 12,000 sq. ft., is God welcomed here? If God can dwell there, He will share with us how to make sure it is accommodating for others.

Time-manager – Time is important, and it is important for us to use it wisely. Wisdom and time go hand in hand. It is important that time is not used idly for those things that are not of essence to God. If you desire to know whether you are a victim of not using your time wisely, ask God: He will reveal those things to you.

Do you find yourself being late a lot? Maybe this is a good time to begin using a planner to help with scheduling. Do you have too many commitments? Maybe it is time to say, “No, I cannot commit to this at this time. Thank you for asking.” Ask God what He desires as your focus. Personally, I created a personal mission statement. If I am asked to participate in something that is not in line with my personal mission statement, I decline. It does not mean that invitation is a negative; it only means it is not for me at this time.

A Woman of Beauty – I speak of a beauty that comes from the inside and radiates to the outside. When you realize that God said in Jeremiah 29:11, “I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you not to harm you.” You will soon realize that YOU ARE NOT A MISTAKE. It matters not what you have been told or what you have assumed. God knew you while you were in the womb and He has a plan for you.

Look your best with what you have. It is okay to admire how others look, but don’t attempt to copy it. You are an original not a copy. God has given you a personality, a smile, a walk, a style, a voice that no one can do like you.

Who is the virtuous woman? Hold your head up, back straight, put a smile on your face. Accept Jesus as Lord because God said it can be YOU!

Sharon Kelly West is an international speaker, author and historian. She is an adjunct faculty member of the Duke End of Life Institute’s APPEAL Program. She was appointed by the House of Representatives as a member of the N.C. Minority Health Advisory Council.
Mrs. West enjoys sharing her knowledge and expertise on providing culturally appropriate patient care and end of life care.