Dear Sista Girl:
I’m an older educated male (58 years old) who is financially stable and single.
I have a beautiful home and a few other luxuries which are the benefits of my hard labor, but what I’m missing is a genuine companion to share my life and not a gold-digger. Any suggestions?
Dear Older Educated Male,
First, allow me to say congratulations to you on your accomplishments.
You have obviously worked hard for what you have, but your situation beckons me to think of my favorite quote from Billy Dee Williams to Diana Ross in the epic film, Mahogany: “Success is NOTHING without someone to share it with.”
Are you bringing authenticity to your finding a mate process—or fear? How are you going about it? If you are fishing in your usual pool, you will be potentially haunted by your concerns because those folks know you.
Also, if you constantly put it into the universe that you “don’t want a gold digger,” then guess what you’re going to get? A gold-digger! All the universe hears is your words; it does not discern between “don’t want” and “do want.” You must focus on what you do want!
Before hitting the dating scene, please create a “Do want” list. With your do want list, you will change your words and how you communicate your desires; that is how you manifest what it is that you want.
Second, try a different approach. On-line dating and matchmaking services are a resource you may wish to consider using … and when you do so with a do want list, you have a strategy you can employ to identify red flags and eliminate those who do not meet your desires.
Lastly, open your heart and mind, pay attention, but remember, the age range you focus on may be a factor as well. Find older women who are more established in their careers, who may bring to the table what you have, then merging becomes fun instead of a lopsided union.
I had a dear friend who always said, “One’s biggest fear becomes one’s self-fulfilling prophecy.” She was right, your thoughts become “things”—so choose wisely!
Bottom line, you will get what you give in the search process. If you enter it in fear, you will come out of it with what you were hoping to avoid.
Best wishes in your search for love and shared joy. Please let me know when you have found your dream girl.
Be blessed, beloved.
Love, Sista Girl
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Note: The opinions stated here are not intended to replace any services from professional providers, authorities, and/or legal counsel.