Ask Sista Girl – March 2017

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Dear Sista Girl,

I have been a certified bachelor for my entire adult life.

I have managed my finances well over the years and accumulated substantial savings and investments. I would like to meet a like-minded woman to spend the rest of my life.

Now that I am seriously seeking love and marriage, it is hard to find a frugal woman. I have run into a lot of females who have poor spending habits and credit. Love and money are more important to me than a pretty face, stripper in the bedroom or genius.

Is it wise to marry someone with huge debt, expensive taste and/or bad credit?

My Brotha,

Instead of just saying no, I will provide you some options to ease your apprehension.

Before we start, just know that if a woman places a low value on money and credit, it is probably not a long term match. Finance is one of the top three reasons for divorce. You cannot have one person earning and another person spending as quickly as the money is earned. The best relationships survive because the couple have the same goals and re moving in unison, not in opposing directions. You do not have to be twins but have an understanding of the household budget and spending limits. When it comes to credit, it is not wise for the expectation to be that one person makes all the major purchases in the marriage just because the other person does not have decent credit. The burden of purchases should be shared.

Now to the options. If you find a good woman you want to marry, but her credit or spending is alarming: (1) discuss budgets, spending and savings expectations; (2) you can opt to educate her in credit repair and rebuilding; (3) you could agree to save for large purchases and pay cash; and/or (4) you can bail her out; (5) or bounce. However, I do not recommend bailing her out. Most individuals do not learn from their mistakes or change bad habits when someone else foots the bill.

Lastly, do not ask a woman about her money or credit until you know she has great potential to be your wife. Some men ask on the first or second date knowing their date does not meet their other requirements, physical or otherwise. It is not YOUR BUSINESS! Furthermore, she may not want you or your baggage. Don’t assume she’s desperate to marry you.

I wish you the very best in your search.

~ Sista Girl



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Note: The opinions stated here are not intended to replace any services from professional providers, authorities, and/or legal counsel.


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